The Well is Drying Up!!!

It just hit me this morning as I was getting ready for work.  My normal routine is to wake up, hop in the shower, towel off, hop back into bed, flip on Sportscenter, and lay in bed watching highlights of the previous day's sports action until I have about 10 minutes left before I have to leave for work to get dress, do my hair, eat breakfast, brush my teeth, water the back lawn, and take care of any other chores around the house I’ve been instructed to take care of by Mrs. Loveseat.  I love me some Sportscenter.  It's a stance that I've always maintains and fought for since I was a little kid.  ESPN even had an ad campaign where they featured famous athletes and sports figures performing a daily routine while having Sportscenter on the tv in the background and a headline that reads, "Which Sportscenter do you watch?"  Me, it's 11:00pm the night before and 7:00am the next morning.  Nothing gets in the way of my morning Sportscenter!!

So as I went to turn on ESPN and watch my 7:00am Sportscenter, I suddenly became in a state of panic, as my morning Sportscenter was being pre-empted by live coverage of a Women’s World Cup Soccer match.  No offense to women soccer players, but not my cup of coffee (No pun intended).  I’m trying to remain calm, as I remember that this was the precise reason why they invented ESPN2; to show programming that can't be seen on ESPN because of a prior commitment to live coverage of an event (and to show all of ESPN's secondary programming).  However, as I grabbed the remote and changed the channel, I had to violently cough to prevent the heart attack that I was about to have because when the channel came up, Women’s Tennis live from Wimbledon.  Again, no offense.  (**EDITOR'S NOTE - I had a really great, inappropriate sentence that I wanted to add here; but was advised against my better judgment not to use it.  Ask me in private later and I will gladly tell you.**)  In my stunned state of mind, it finally hit me; we are now entering the dead period of sports.  

The dog days of summer are rapidly approaching, and for those of us who spent the better part of their lives consumed by sports, it means that we may actually have to get up out of our armchairs and get something accomplished or spent actually quality time with our significant others.  For me, this is the time of year where I reluctantly give my seat cushion a break and let it take back its shape and form, all while it de-fumigates from the repeated tornado like winds of guac and cheddar cheese it’s been taking for the last 10 months.  What makes this sports “offseason” even more particularly boring and uneventful is that the NFL and the NBA are both going to be in lockouts as of tomorrow (NBA’s CBA expires midnight tomorrow and the owners and league will most certainly lock out the players), so we aren’t even going to be privy to any trade or free agency rumormill excitement provided to us by the NBA, or any training camp position battles and mid-week preseason football from the NFL.  Baseball will pick up the slack a little bit once the All-Star game passes and the trade winds start to pick wind, but unless the NFL ends its lockout (supposedly any day now!!) and starts training camps and preseason, we may not see any meaningful sports actions until early September, when college football starts up again and the baseball pennant and wildcard races pick up.  Which leaves me asking one question:  WHAT THE HELL I’M I SUPPOSE TO DO? 

This is the time of year where us men will actually have to step away from the TV and spent a little time with our significant other and take care of any incomplete projects around the house.  We may actually go outside and spend some time underneath this blinding ray of light in the sky called, The Sun.  We also try to be on our best behavior as well, for we want to build up as much good will as we can, so that when the sports' world does decide to pick back up again and we revert back to spending time in our beloved armchair, we do so with as little of a guilty heart as possible.  During our hiatus, we still may check into the sports' world every now and then for updates, for baseball is still being played and golf does have two majors left to be played.  But as of right now, as evidence by me having to suffer through watching Women's World Cup Soccer or Women's Tennis in the morning, the well is drying up. 

Mr. Armchair Speaking